Daily Dose of Optimism

So my last post was around the beginning of the semester.. right when classes started. It is now the middle of October. Holy crap. I just want to say that so much has happened in since then its absolutely ridiculous. It just makes me realize how little we have control over our lives and how little we know what will happen tomorrow. But thats what I love about life. Something really terrible many happen but if you open yourself up to the possibilities then you just never know what may come along. At the beginning of the semester I was fully intending on pledging a social club, but like I said earlier you have no control over what happens sometimes.. and I ended up not making it in. And I would be lying if I still wasnt the teensy bit sad that I wont ever get the opportunity to experience that.. but I can say I was glad at times while my roommate was going through hell that I did not have to put up with it and I could hang out with my boyfriend. Oh yeah speaking of life changing... I am dating this really amazing guy. And it just happened out of nowhere. Here I was not even looking for anything, thinking when I get into club ill meet so many guys and then maybe ill date one of them then. NOPE! God seriously has such a different plan for my life. WAY different than what I think I want or need. But I love that. Because if I had it my way I think my life would suck. From last year to now I love that I can look back and see that God was right there, guiding me along even when I felt so lost and alone. And now I am in such a great place in my life. Of course saying that nothing is ever perfect, and I dont expect it to be, but I am definitely embracing all of the good things in my life. And that being said I dont even know what could happen tomorrow or even in 5 minutes but if I did, then life wouldnt have much meaning would it. I guess im just restating the fact that I am so incredibly blessed, and so thankful for those blessings. I guess the only thing thats not super great in my life now compared to last year is my grades, or drive to get good grades. Which is silly because I have wayy less on my plate this year than last. Or about the same amount. But I just feel less motivated I guess. But that seems pretty normal. I will get through the rest of this semester and then do it all over again in the spring. OH another amazing thing is I kind of work for a non profit on campus as their graphic designer. And even though I may complain when they ask me to do something at the last minute I LOVE it! I made a poster for a benefit concert and designed 2 tshirts. How cool is that that I can say that? Pretty freaking cool. Im just such a lucky girl. No life isnt perfect. It never will be. But I am just so happy to say that I have some good things going for me, even though its not what I hoped for or even imagined was possible.

I know that was so cheesy you want to puke.. I know I just rolled my eyes at myself a little bit.. but who cares. I am happy :]

Junior

Wellll its here. My junior year of college. I am halfway done with my college career and I love my classes for this semester but I am scared that I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I am really excited about my Graphic Design class but at the same time my professor is new, and hes a big shot and this is his first time teaching, and by big shot I mean he is AMAZING and I aspire to be as good as him. I am so intimidated its ridiculous. We already have a project and I feel like I have no idea how to execute it.. and as a junior I think I should know by now. But enough of being depressing.. I love being a junior and living off campus and this year seems so promising. I feel so incredibly blessed by all of my friends here and I just think I am going to have so many amazing opportunities this year and it is so exciting. Now here are some posters kinda like the one I am going to be designing for the band the Rocketboys.. I love them and I hope mine turns out just as good!

A Changed Woman

So my last post was just a quick update.. but now I'm going to finally catch up on the WHOLE month of June.. as I was out of contact from the world due to having very little internet while in Italy.


Well where do I begin.. I left Oxford, being changed by the culture and everything there.. I think I lost myself a little bit while overseas and it got even worse when I got to Italy.. I think that I just needed an escape and break from all of the troubles that I had been going through my whole sophomore year at school. Although soph. year was a VERY tough one.. it was such a good and blessed one too. But I am getting WAY off topic.. so we got to Italy and homesickness set in... We were all tired and crammed into uncomfortable living spaces, Italy was dirty and rainy and not as I remembered it at all.. I was homesick and I had no way to contact any of my loved ones. This was tough but it made me more appreciative of where I was and what a blessing I had to be where I was. As the month went on we traveled to many amazing places and saw many amazing things, and our little group grew SO much closer than we had been in Oxford.. being crammed into one house with 20 something people will do that.. but I am so thankful now that we had to live in such close quarters because I ended up making some AMAZING friendships that I hope and pray last into this next school year and beyond that. But personally I had kind of let myself die inside with my relationship with God.. I turned 20 years old about a week after being in Italy and I was just at a point in my life with all these opportunities to act like an average 20 year old.. and basically go wild. And so I did. I dont regret it at all. It was an experience I have been itching for for a LONG time.. Ive always known I was a bit sheltered growing up, not oblivious to the world around me, believe me I was well aware of it, but I just stayed on the outside of it, watching others around me, partly wishing I could be like that, and then partly wanting to be better than that. Basically I have a wild side that has been dormant inside of me for a long time, just itching to get out, and so on this trip I think its safe to say I let it out a couple of times. It was so much fun and a life changing experience for sure, and I have learned and grown from everything I did and experienced on the trip, but I definitely have drifted away from God.. and I regret that very much. But as much as I knew the whole time I was dead inside, I think it was a necessary evil, I had to go from being so close and in love with God as I had grown closer to Him through some very difficult times, to needing to just step back and find myself a little bit, to realize thats not who I am or want to be, and now that I am home I know I want to be close to God again. That is in fact the life I need and want, and I cannot live without Him. Now that that has been said, Italy was amazing and I will take so much from that experience. It was beautiful and I absolutely loved it. I wouldnt change any of it for the world.


But now I am just back in Austin and life feels slow and mundane, and I dont like it. Life is so rushed and troubled here, and I felt such a peace being over there, like nothing mattered except enjoying life. I was extremely happy every single day there, a kind of happy I havent been able to feel in a long time. I am now 20 years old and I feel like I need a change in my life. It makes me constantly consider what am I doing with this life. Right now in the month of July I am just sitting around being useless, or atleast thats how I feel. I am so ready to get to August.. when I move to Abilene and get to be on my own, in my OWN HOUSE. I am ready for a serious relationship, and I am ready for the next part of my life! I am halfway done with college, and I cannot wait for the next half to begin, with all the amazing relationships I have made, despite the ones I have lost, and even the ones I have yet to make. I think I have a new found confidence, that I hope and pray I dont lose, because I know that I am a beautiful, amazing person that has so much to offer, and I just need to get back to true self a little bit. I am hopefully going to get the tattoo I have been wanting for quite a while now.. and I think the timing is perfect. I am ready. The verse means everything, because life is about Love. 100%. God loves us no matter what, and we need to love, no matter what. Its that complicated and that simple. It just is. God is life and love and that is the core of my life and it just has to be.


So I think I have gone on 204854 tangets, but those are my thoughts on life these days and thats where I am at. Im just so excited for my life to keep going and for any obstacles to come my way, and any blessings as well. Its the little things after all that make life worth living. :]

So since Ive been back, Ive been to Abilene and painted my bedroom, along with repainting a whole bookshelf, Ive hung out with friends, and even been to the beach. I havent done much but in about 2 1/2 weeks I will be moving my stuff up to Abilene to find a job! 

Catching Up

Well this is going to be short because its late and I need to go to sleep because  have a date with the lovely Sarah Robertson tomorrow! :]

Sooo basically I loved Italy! it was so beyond amazing words cannot describe! Yes I have many photos but not enough time to post them all. I had some crazy fun times and it was amazing. when we got there we had hardly any internet so updating on here just wasn't going to happen. but I am back safely in the great state of Texas and it is hot and rainy so far. went up to Abilene the past couple of days and painted my room and redid a bookshelf! I was quite proud of myself.. my mommy helped too! okay well that's all for now hopefully I can get something more substantial up later! :]

How the time flies..

I have already been in Oxford for almost two weeks now! so crazy!! I am loving it soo much over here. Everything is green and beautiful and quaint. Very precious. It was pretty chilly the first week we were here but the weather is getting increasingly beautiful each day! Next week the highs are in the high 70's! Sunshine and warmth makes me soo happy! We have done soo much already from visiting many sites, watercolor painting, photography and more. The food is great over here, much fresher and healthier, and we walk miles every single day, I feel like my legs are constantly getting a workout, and my feet are in pain. But its all totally worth it. I am very tired so I dont feel like writing much more or going into much detail, but this weekend is our first freedays and we are going to London on Friday to see the lion king on broadway, and then to Bath on Saturday! It will be a great weekend! :]

Here are just some highlights:

OXFORD!

I am officially in Oxford, UK! whhooo! so sleepy too! more fun things to come later! yay!!

I'm not a sophomore any more!!

Hallelujah I am DONE with my sophomore year of college and i am halfway done with college! Oh my goodness! that feels so weird to say!! So basically I just wanted to post my work from this semester and say that I am so freaking excited about my study abroad trip to Europe! I leave on MONDAY! :D